Testimony- My Story
by BrokenMockingjay
Summary: My testimony. I feel an urge to share my secret. I'm not ashamed, because I'm building from it. If you fell hard in your life, or if you're falling, read how God had helped and saved me. Rated T for darkness in some parts. Mention of suicide and self-harm. Please don't harm yourself because of me!


**AN: HI! I am young, but I feel the need to share some of my testimony. Posting it on Fanfiction isn't very suitable, because though I am a serious fan of God and his works, this is not fiction. Sorry, I haven't found a new testimony site yet, but I feel a urge to write this and share it. Please read my testimony, maybe God meant for you to read this.**

 **P.S. This took place when I was 12.**

All the way during kindergarten and elementary, I was the genius kid, the awesome smart one to look up to. I skipped two grades, yet I was still top. I was on top of the world: Emotionally, Mentally, Physically, Spiritually, I was great! I was a wonder at everything! Never had emotional breakdowns, I was the happy kid! Spiritually- A Youth leader at my age? Awesome! Mentally- Obviously in top shape! Physically- Judo, Swim and Running champ here! Where's the applause?

Then, I went to middle school. Things went downhill. First went my precious academics and intellect. Before, I had to barely kick to stay top of the grade. Now, I was furiously clawing, but I had to move back down to my own year level! What happened to all my friends in the older grades? I was stuck with the babies! To make it worse, I was barely making average grades. I was low, very low. Such a dark time. After, I stopped eating. Sure, I made a show of eating well, if not a little less, but after a meal, i would force myself to throw up. I saw a cow in the mirrors, which didn't make sense cause I was always in good shape. I didn't think of that. I was too far gone. There went my sanity. I also stopped sleeping. I took pills instead. Because of my weakness, I was kicked off the Cross Country and Swim teams. I continued Judo, but one day, I couldn't do it. I was too weak. I begged my instructors not to tell, that next week I would be better. Yea, I would be better. I would be in Heaven. How could I live without my precious intelligence? My whole life was built around it. I called my pastors and told them I had to take a week off. They complied, after all, the had been telling me to take a break for a long time, I think they noticed my downfall.

I wrote a long note to my family, and hid it in my backpack. I took a kitchen knife and hid it in my backpack too. What better revenge to the school and its teachers and students than if a student committed suicide there? The school would be ruined. After lunch, during break, I went to the bathroom, locked the bathroom door, and took out my knife. Why bother to hide in a stall? I lay the note beside me, and took the knife. Before i could start to slice my wrists, my soul, that had crawled inside me and fell asleep after my academics took a hit, awoke. I felt the Holy Spirit talk to me, and his words made a warm cocoon that in which I could only make out one word: AWAKE! Then fell asleep, for the first time in a long time. It felt so strange. While my soul awoke, my body slept.

When I woke up, I was in hospital. I was told that I had been asleep for 2 days in the hospital. I had been found by a cleaning lady, who had quite the shock when she saw the knife and note. She had called an ambulance. My secret was out. Actually, only my parents, pastors and teachers knew. At first, I thought I only had anorexia, but it turns out I had depression too. They were also getting the drugs out of my system. They gave me anti-depression and anti-anxiatey pills, and counselling.

Now I'm better, back to where I was as the model kid, but I won't forget my past. I'm still healing, and my academics aren't as high as they used to be. I'm only a grade ahead, and while my goal is to head for skipping another grade, that isn't my main focus in life. It's knowing God. I'm happier now. I have kept this a secret for two years, but I think someone out there needs this testimony, so I'm sharing it. If its you, i hope it helped you. If you know someone who needs it, share this. God urges me to share this, so it will find you, whoever it is.

Best of luck to all of you. God is always in control. Lay down all your religion. Christianity is a relationship, not a religion.

 **-AriaStorm**

 **P.S. I know i'm young, but if you need help, don't be afraid to PM me.**


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